High School. Gross.

Yeah I know, where did I disappear to? No where, really. Just working. Decorating our living space. Hanging out in Lex with my aunt. Just got back from a night in Illinois with Brad (first I had seen him in a week, jeeeeeze). Had a birthday. Turned 29. This week away from home has been brutal on any healthy eating habits I had developed... ugh. I physically feel like shit cause that is all I've eaten. Haven't been to the gym in well over a week. Tsk, tsk! Flew on a plane today, with a hangover, tired as hell. When I woke up during landing, all my panicked mind could think of was the quickest possible route to a bed where I could sleep for EVER. That didn't happen. Oooh, I do not feel good right now. Mentally, I'm pretty spot on, though. This mind never rests.

Just thought I'd vent about something. At the risk of hurting people's feelings (but what is worth venting about if it doesn't do at LEAST that). So I graduated high school in 2001. It is now 2012 and we have yet to have a class reunion, although one is tentatively set for March. A part of me really wants to give a shit. A part of me wants to volunteer my time to making it worthwhile. I have the time. And I love planning things, making things happen. I'm creative, crafty, resourceful. Projects keep me going. And I'm pretty damn full of myself, so I must say if I did help, it would be 100% better than anything they could come up with in my absence. Because I am awesome. Yes, that is how arrogant I am about myself and my abilities. I ain't afraid to say it.

So I'm so tempted to care. But then I remember something. It's my 10 year high school reunion. How disgusting.

I look back on those years and... it makes my stomach hurt, honestly. I think, shit, how could I have ever lived that way, and it's funny cause my 17 year old self would probably think the same about me now.

I never understood the people I graduated with who missed high school. But I was in a suspended state of animation, still stuck in the education system, went on to college. I didn't understand their lamentations until I finally graduated and was thrown into the real world. Yeah, it really does SUCK some major balls. Not all the time, but it can, and not a single one of us appreciated when it didn't suck so much back then. A zit was the end of the world, now getting sick and paying medical bills while having no income is the real end of the world. That will probably seem silly too, one of these days, when we look back. So I finally do get it now. But I wouldn't wish myself back there for ANYTHING. I mean, ew. Ew. Ew.

But no one has any really excellent ideas or a plan for executing those ideas and it's killing me. I just want to intervene before someone hurts themselves thinking too hard. It has been suggested it be a tail-gate party, back in the fall, during a home football game. That made me want to vomit. I had no school spirit whatsoever. If I had to pick a sport I could happily live without, it would be football. And if I want to stare at and judge the people I went to high school with, I'll log on to Facebook, and at least I can be drunk while doing that.

Ugh. Makes me feel ill just thinking about it all. The first mistake they made was asking for everyone's input. Everyone will never agree. It's one of those things you just gotta do and say, take it or leave it. Reminds me of planning my wedding. Too many cooks in the kitchen. I would have privately asked some people to help out, then just DONE it. Even at the risk of it SUCKING. And no one coming. And you can bet I would have planned it well in advance. Makes me feel like getting on the facebook page for it and announcing in all caps, OKAY, I'M CALLING THE SHOTS, THIS FUCKER IS GOING DOWN IN JUNE, BRING MARSHMALLOWS, WATCH YOUR MAIL, SEE YOU SOON. IF I WANT YOUR HELP, I'LL ASK FOR IT. BLOW ME. TAKE CARE. **Animal sacrifice and prayers appreciated**

But I don't care, right? I don't care. I don't care... really, your wearing THAT? I mean, I don't care, I don't care...