Blah

January 6th, 2012. What a day. It hasn't even started for me yet.

Megan & Heath are having a baby girl! Found out this morning. That's fabulous! Do I wish it were me? Yeah. But I'm kinda focused right now on losing weight, not gaining it, so it's all good. I'm super happy for them, a little girl is gonna be so much fun! She'll probably be perfect, like Holden. When/if Brad and I ever reproduce, they will probably be little demon shits, but that is fun too, I guess. It's about time the McDavid family had a little girl!

In other news, I'm about ready to go Misery on Brad's ass and keep him in the basement with broken ankles, feeding him only McDonald's. He shared his weight with me this morning (ugh) and he is at 238. He has almost lost 30 effing pounds. I've lost 15. *sigh* I'm really just not trying hard enough. I know, I know, men lose it more easily, I really do have reasonable expectations for myself. But I really am slipping up on a regular basis, eating whatever I can get my hands on sometimes. I just feel so tired. I don't want to plan my healthy food. I've even had many moments sitting in front of the computer, not knowing what to do, what to search for, and that might seem lame, but it means one thing: I am bored. I am down. I'm not even really excited about the living room re-do. I just feel blah.

It probably has to do with January. It's just a boring and depressing month. It's getting colder. It snowed the other day. There are no holidays to look forward to and prepare for. Except my birthday! January 26... I'll be 29. But I find that a tad depressing as well.

I think part of the problem is that my hours at work have dropped drastically. When I don't have a good reason to get up in the morning (cause I've not been going in til like 4 or 5) then I just... don't. Get up. It's a bad habit to get back into. Financially, I miss the hours, but it's not like we can't get by, we are fine without my contribution. But mentally... I just need that. I really enjoy the job. I like organizing and preparing, calling customers, getting everything done for the day. Just makes me feel accomplished in some small way. Maybe I need to find a place to volunteer at. Wish Grayson had an animal shelter.

Anyway, blah.